


A Horrible Day in the Life of Sean Bean

by lea_ysaye



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 08:58:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3441227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lea_ysaye/pseuds/lea_ysaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Humour, slightly weird and fucked up. Sean has a very bad day and it's only one person's fault.</p><p>I wrote this story in 2003.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Horrible Day in the Life of Sean Bean

"See you tomorrow, Sean."

A careless brush of his hand over my forearm, and there were those thoughts again. 

On my way home I felt a vague unease, a feeling right outside my consciousness that I couldn't name. Or could I? I tried to push this thoughts away, as I had done for weeks now, but somehow tonight it was different. I couldn't make myself stop thinking about him, and when I finally lay in bed I just had to admit to myself who it was I was constantly trying not to think about. It was Viggo, my cast mate, and one of the new friends I had made here in New Zealand.

Certainly it was just my imagination that he was looking at me in a different way. Different from the way a pal should look at you. His eyes sometimes rested on me just a tad too long, or at least I had the feeling they did.

'Don't be ridiculous,' I told myself. 'You're just overly tired and stressed right now. And he is, too. And he’s been married.' Another little voice in my head replied, _So have you. Three times._

'Yeah, exactly,' I replied to that voice. 'Three times, so I know I'm straight. And I'm not the one doing the looking here.' _And when you weren't looking, how do you know he was?_

'Shut up!' I said to the voice and turned over to go to sleep. But for some reason I couldn't - for a long time.

***

The next morning I was very cranky. I’d had approximately three hours of sleep, probably less. When I arrived on set, with the throbbing headache from hell I just knew this was going to be a long and very nasty day.

My conviction was proved to be oh-so true almost the moment I stepped out of the makeup trailer. Something hit me in the side, pretty hard - **BAM!** \- and I was on the ground before I even knew what was happening. (I actually bruised my elbow pretty badly in that fall, something I wouldn't realise until much later.) Trying to gather my senses and my dignity together again, I struggled to free myself from the weight I’d assumed to be Orli. But when I looked up I didn't see the pale, clean-shaven face of an elf but the rugged, bearded face of my king. Viggo’s blue-grey eyes sparkled with mirth, and he stuck his tongue out at me. 

I shoved him aside, not too gently, and got to my feet. "What did you do that for?" My voice sounded grumblier than I’d intended and my heart pounded fast with excitement… - 'No, with anger. I'm not pleased with him for that,' I tried to convince myself.

I checked my costume for any untidiness (not to hide my flushing face, of course), and when I looked up again the offender was walking away already, looking back once, winking and mumbling something about how he loved to rugby tackle unsuspecting Men of Gondor. His inane snicker seemed to linger behind him.

 _How can you have the hots for such a childish prick?_ \- the voice in my head demanded to know. 'Shut up,' I replied, but wondered silently how many Men of Gondor he knew and if he rugby tackled them all on a regular basis.

***

Unfortunately, the day didn't get noticeably better after that. On my way to the set, a stagehand stepped on my foot, which was unfortunate because he wore heavy working boots. ‘Great -just great’, I thought as limping and still rubbing my sore elbow I joined the crew, who were waiting for the Council set to get the last finishing touches. But those finishing touches weren’t meant to be.

"I have to announce, unfortunately, that we are experiencing some minor technical difficulties with the lighting." 

Pete's voice sounded stressed. We would seriously get behind schedule if they couldn't fix the problem soon. 

"I'd really appreciate you not to go away too far, since we hope to have this fixed within minutes."

A low rumble and much shuffling arose while half a dozen dwarves, several elves and a handful of hobbits tried to find a place to sit comfortably yet not too far away from the sound stage. Some assistants were dispatched to go and fetch coffee and other refreshments for everybody. Astin and Boyd went with them to help carrying the load.

That gave the remaining two hobbits time to engage in some serious snogging. For want of a better thing to do I watched them, careful not to be too obvious about it. Dom and Elijah had just been together for something over a month then. They were quite cute together, I had to admit that much. It had been pretty obvious for most of us that they would end up together eventually. There had actually been bets on the date they would finally gather up the courage to admit their love for each other to themselves and to us. (I had actually won some money in that, my bet had been quite close to the actual day. There had been many signs that it wouldn't be much longer. To be honest, I was a little worried to find that I could actually read such signs…).

Watching them evoked some unwanted physical reactions though. While my mind had been wandering, the thought of what it would feel like to kiss a rough male mouth instead of a soft female one had been sneaking into my brain. My leather trousers felt uncomfortably tight all of a sudden.

'Stop that, will you?!' I told myself irritated, and I almost got the impression that a certain part of my mind was laughing at me.

***

As you may have already guessed, that wasn't yet the end of _A Horrible Day in the life of Sean Bean._

After the lighting problem, or whatever it had been had been fixed, we finally set to work. It goes without saying that this wasn't a good day for productive work, at least not for me. I fucked up big time on my dialogue more than once, for which there were two very reasonable explanations. Firstly, I still had that horrible headache/ sore elbow/ sore foot trio to battle with and secondly I couldn't help but be distracted by Viggo sitting on his chair, looking all kingly and sexy.

But by then I’d stopped trying to deny my feelings to myself. They’d become so obvious and were making coherent thought quite impossible. The combined distracting power of Viggo's gorgeousness, my physical discomfort and the little voice in my head that yelled at me _I told you so, I told you so_ over and over again caused me to commit so many script blunders that Pete finally had a massive tantrum

"For Christ's sake, Bean, what is going on?" 

I'd rather he hadn't shouted that loud but I just hung my head.

"I'm sorry, Pete, I'm out of sorts today somehow. I'll concentrate now, I promise."

Pete glared at me for a second, but then his good nature broke through again. He looked at me sharply for a moment. Then he turned to address the others.

"Okay, everybody, break, one hour. Don't get lost until then, be on time."

He turned back to me. "What is it, eh? Trouble with the kids? One of the wives?"

I blushed again slightly. If it just were that easy. "No, I just had trouble sleeping last night. And that caused a major headache."

He looked at me as if he didn't really believe me but didn't say anything about it. He just patted me on the back.

"Go get some aspirin, then, and lie down for a few minutes. And no worries, you'll get around eventually today."

With that he gently pushed me in the direction of the First Aid tent. 

***

When I came back from the nurse and approached the set again I suddenly heard a sound to my right, somewhere farther up the corridor. I could make out two figures, talking behind some props. Seconds later Viggo and Orli appeared from behind the styrofoam sculptures, walking arm in arm towards the stage. Shortly before joining the crew again they separated, Orli quickly pressing a kiss on Viggo's cheek.

I felt slightly sick. Could it be possible that Viggo was already having a fling with the boy? Come to think of it I’d seen them being very affectionate before. So, I’d been right in my feeling that Viggo liked men at least as much as women, but I’d also misjudged his signals towards me. Or had I just been too slow on the uptake? Who knew - maybe he’d been sending me signals for much longer, had got tired of waiting and had chosen Orli instead.

 _See where your thick-headedness brings you? I told you so!_ The voice again. I sighed. But it was right of course, I should've realised this much earlier. How stupid of me! No wonder that he’d prefer the boy - he certainly was much easier to handle, and probably more than willing. And pretty gorgeous as well… Before my thoughts could cause another unfortunate physical reaction I tried to push the thought in the back of my mind as far as possible. _So ... you have a thing for pretty boy elves as well? My word - I’d no idea,_ the voice said, but I hadn't any energy left to fight it back. Maybe I would just have to learn to live with the fact that I indeed played on both teams and that the one who awakened that knowledge in me was unavailable for me now. What a depressing day. I sighed again. Well, it couldn't be helped, so back to work.

***

I got through the rest of the day kind of okay. It certainly wasn't my best performance ever but the best I could provide given the circumstances. After getting out of my Boromir clothes and back into my own I grabbed my bag and slumped wearily off towards my car. Dusk was just settling, and it wasn't terribly late yet. On an ordinary day I'd have gone drinking with Viggo as we often did when we wrapped at a reasonable time. But not tonight. Even if he'd been around now I wouldn't have been able to face him let alone get drunk with him. Who knows what I'd have been saying whilst under the influence. I’d made enough of a fool of myself for one day, thank you very much. 

But he wasn't around anyway ( _You wish he were, though_ ), since he’d gone with the hobbits trying some new weed they’d 'discovered' while clubbing the other night. Oh, great, now that I was thinking about hobbits again the uncomfortable hot feeling flooded my body again. Now I was depressed **and** horny – fucking wonderful! I was seriously wishing for a hot shower and some private handiwork now. 

But there was no peace to be had for me that night. Out of the shadows between two trailers a voice suddenly addressed me and for a change, it wasn't the voice in my head. 

"What's that?" the voice said. "A ranger caught off his guard?" Even in my miserable condition I couldn't help but grin. That definitely wasn't Arwen, or Liv for that matter. I turned towards the alley.

"You here? Did you already smoke all the weed the little ones had?"

A hand appeared from the shadows and grabbed the front of my jacket. I was too surprised to resist when Viggo pulled me towards him. He only let go of me when our faces were really close. I could see the twinkling in his eyes, and I could smell the sweetness of good pot on his breath. If I’d only been slightly aroused before I was fully hard now.

"The boys bored me tonight, I wanted to be with you," Viggo said abruptly. He was clearly a little high from whatever they’d been smoking but not as high as to make me think that it was just the drug speaking those words. I was suddenly at a loss.

"Erm, I thought you'd rather be with a certain boy than with me." I hadn't known until I heard the words that I felt so bitter about that. 

Viggo's brow went up in confusion. "What the hell are you talking about, Sean?"

"Uh, I saw you and Orli…hugging, back in the corridor, today…" Somehow that suddenly sounded so silly. _Very silly,_ my subconscious so kindly informed me.

Viggo rolled his eyes. Then a grin spread over his face. "You must really like me - you're genuinely jealous!" Why did he have to sound do smug? _Because…_ the voice set out to explain. 'Never mind,' I replied.

"Anyway," Viggo continued, "there’s certainly no reason for you to be jealous of anybody. The only person I’ve been able to think of for weeks now is you. And," he murmured, coming so close that I feared he would be able to feel my erection. "I knew today had to be the day to take action."

He pressed himself against me now and the grin on his face widened in delight. "Nice." 

By then I was totally speechless. But then there wasn't much need for talking. Viggo’s mouth quite naturally found mine very soon afterwards, and all the confusion and unpleasantness of the last 24 quite simply melted away.

***

Much later, in my apartment, we were lying on the bed together, limbs entangled, sweaty, exhausted and tired but completely satisfied. It’d been unlike like anything I’d _ever_ experienced and I was beginning to wonder why…

"Sean?"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry I hurt your elbow." Gentle fingers on my bruised arm.

"That's all right, I don't even feel it anymore."

"And I'm sorry I confused you so much today."

"No worries, I'll get used to it. I'm actually glad you kicked me in the ass today, I was such a stupid prick, not to listen to my feelings."

"And Sean?"

"Uhuh?"

"To whom did you say 'Shut up,' while we were… you know?"

"Oh, that was nothing. I'm sure it'll stop now."

"…"

I looked at his puzzled face, and suddenly it was my turn to grin. Slowly I started to cover his face in kisses, and quickly the frown on his forehead turned into an expression of pleasure when I let my lips wander down his body.

 _And I **did** tell you so, didn't I?_

'Yes you did, and now go away!'


End file.
